“Be careful or you will fall!
Watch out or you will fail!
Look out or you’ll get hurt…!”
One phrase – “be careful” – is constantly ringing in our ears filling us with fear; removing all confidence in ourselves, putting us in tight
patterns from an early age, evidently for our own sake, questioning our abilities to cope with any difficulties or misfortunes that befall us. Restricting us within barriers prevents us from learning how fast we can run. Because that “be careful” made us land before we even took off! It also deprived us of the opportunity to learn the lessons that failure also has to offer. To acquire the ability to acknowledge the danger, failure, and risk. To get in touch with our skills and desires and consciously, or not, assume the cost of our decision.
Since nothing is achieved by “being careful” while everything is conquered by “acting”. The amount of effort we will put into achieving our goal, or the ease with which we will give up will prove whether the choice was ours or was forced upon us.
Perhaps you will whisper, “parents warn us against acting out of interest and love…” Neither interest nor love is involved in clipping
feathers. It only reflects their own problem. This mostly is the case of parents who do not see their children as separate entities, but as a continuation of themselves, obliged to fulfill their own repressed dreams; obliged to make them feel proud of their achievements.
Children, however, are not “circus animals”, to perform tricks and demonstrate talents they may not have, in order to receive applause
and awards. They are autonomous beings born carrying their special characteristics. And if parents want them to be glorified, they must
help them develop their own talents. They must teach them how to fly instead! They must show them trust, so they can believe in
In a rapidly changing society, where many things and choices seem long outdated, as if they belonged to a previous century, the attempt to impose their own right on them, seems funny or even absurd. Isn’t it much better if parents helped them find their own “right”? Instead of clipping their wings, they had better stand by them not as authorities and bright omniscient, but as supporters whenever they are needed.
Anyway, love should never suffocate anybody. It should only help one to find and develop their inclinations. Children should be let alone free to learn that error is entailed in life, just like a failure. They should also be taught that one single failure should not be the cause
for despair or mourning. Neither should that fact discourage them because we are all imperfect beings and life is a path we have to
walk in order for us to reach completion. These beliefs are the real“wings” that good parents must craft for their children.
After all, there are several cases of so-called “losers” whose careers eventually turned into success stories. For the record, Edison failed 1001 times before inventing the light bulb. Famous author Stephen King was rejected thirty times before publishing his first book. And the founder of the KFC company had been discarded 1,009 times before he succeeded. What did the three of them have in common?
Faith in themselves!
And this is the best legacy that parents can ever leave to their children.