Writers International Edition

Dhanuka Dickwella

How powerful is a Tea Shop

The Kremlin, the White House, and Buckingham Palace are places that resemble a basic factor of civilization, namely the concept of Power. Each of those locations is a center of power that can not only change its inhabitants and the country they are located in, but the whole of humanity in split seconds. The same magnitude is held by the Vatican, Mecca, and Sacred Tooth Relic Temple of Kandy, but in an entirely different context. Wall Street, the London Stock Exchange, and Beijing Financial Street carry the power of commerce. As each locality seems to have an influence larger than its physical size, it begs the question of what a Tea Shop holds in terms of power.

A proper description of what kind of a Tea shop is subject to the discussion is needed as a prelude. In most parts of Asia, one will not miss a small boutique where people sit, read a newspaper, or play a game while enjoying a cup of tea. In the not-so-distant past, each village had one such entity where you could also buy your groceries. The most important thing about such tea shops is that they functioned as the place where people gathered to talk, make conversations, reveal messages, pass news, exchange ideas, seek clarifications, give opinions, engage in heated debate, and argue on many topics from religion to politics. There was a spicer side that dealt with the teashop’s surroundings with its visitors having a knack for a little gossip about the village dwellers and local celebrities. While the establishment’s primary purpose was to make profits, it gave rise to a well-sustained ecosystem that included everyone in a village. It was the postman’s break point, a policeman’s information center, and the local hub of trade. Undoubtedly, a teashop owner enjoyed an enormous civil power, yet without the ecosystem of its visitors, those powers meant nothing.

Although times have changed and the tea shops have evolved from their ultra traditional outlooks becoming more chic, clean, and perhaps changed their palate, none of their functionalities have changed. Tea shops are still a central hub of communications where People still gather to carry out civilizations.

While one has to agree wholeheartedly that no Tea shop in the world could push the red button to fire a nuclear missile, announce a strict religious decree, impose a new tax, or declare wars, the tea shops really do hold the power to change the outcome of any such decisions. The crowd that gathers is who pays tax, who would take a gun and go to war, who would donate to the religious establishments, pray to the gods the leaders say are true, and perhaps start a revolution. No, they are not just the foot soldiers who carry out the orders, but an integral and powerful part of that power chain. What they talk, the opinions they create, the arguments they make reach not just the households but an entire network of grassroots.  

High on a cuppa, two ordinary people could give birth to a revolutionary idea that can easily ignite a nation’s patriotism, nationalism, or even racism. Perhaps a shared grievance could become a rallying call for a nationwide strike, a concentrated boycott movement, or an armed rebellion. A scribbled note in a tea shop could be the lyrics of a song that touches the hearts and minds of a generation. Conversations made, arguments sustained, debates deliberated, lyrics sung, notes scribbled, anger expressed, emotions shared among the ordinary folks in a teashop thus carry a weight that outweighs brewing a storm inside a teacup instead creating a butterfly effect which could cause a violent storm. In Chaos Theory, it is said that a butterfly flapping its wings in one place could, in theory, alter atmospheric conditions that eventually lead to a tornado or hurricane in another location. That is the magnitude of power a Teashop and its patrons hold. One has to look at a teashop in the same spirit, merit, mindset, and relevance. The pillars of power rest on national parliaments, presidential places, political party headquarters, militant garrisons, tech hubs, and wealthy financial centers, all come down to what takes place inside a teashop. 

Times have changed and the inhabitants of teashops have evolved. Whether they carry a Mamoty on the shoulder or a sleek laptop, or whether they drink a sugary plaintea or a fancy Matcha iced latte, it will be the teashops and their visitors who will decide how the world functions and the direction of the civilisation. Any ruler, political or otherwise, who fails to comprehend the intricate, unparalleled, unique nature of this power center is prone to end up being just another footnote of history. 

About the Writer

With a master’s in International relations, Dhanuka’s expertise is in Geopolitics and Geoeconomics, among other things. In addition to being the Executive Editor of The Asian Reviews magazine, he works as a guest writer in the Chicago-based Armenian Mirror-Spectator on Caucuses-related geopolitical issues and contributes as a columnist and a guest speaker to the Indian-based Force Security magazine.

He was a grassroots Politician, a political campaign Director, and a council member of a local government body in a small town in rural Sri Lanka. Before entering active politics, he led his foundation in supporting youth and the underprivileged. Currently, he consults youth groups on political activism and general political trends.

He is a poet, blogger, and an enthusiastic climate and social activist who strongly believes in making a better world for future generations. A patriotic Sri Lankan who is a father of a loving daughter.

Politics of Relationships

“Each relationship between two persons is absolutely unique. That is why you cannot love two people the same. It simply is not possible. You love each person differently because of who they are and the uniqueness that they draw out of you.”

William P. Young,

Hundreds of such beautiful quotes are scattered all over the usage among us humans. Irrespective of what each of them stands for or its truthfulness, the nature of relationships and everything around them is subject to change. It has been on a constant evolution from its inception. The times, society, climate, and rise of religions and cultures all impacted the very definition of what relationships meant. In the era of information humanity lives in, relationships have reached a completely strange plateau. A new reality called virtual space has emerged turning the whole thing upside down.

The most basic component that governs a relationship is the forming of one. There have been tens of traditional ways of meeting a potential partner ranging from classic Victorian practices to 21st centry chic ways. Out of the buffet of relationships forming, a few could be highlighted for comparison’s sake. From volunteering for a social cause to hanging out at a dog park to flirting over a bar counter to introductions through mutual friends to a dancing class, attending a social event, working out at a gymnasium to yoga class have been commonly used by relationship seekers to meet a partner. The rise of big tech paved the way for dating through social media in this century. All of the above are tested and proven methods. One can not ignore relationships born out of accidental events, too. In some cultures, relationships are arranged by the parents’ initiative through the services of matchmakers with the end objective of marriage.

The classical era of relationships is either reaching its lifespan or seems to be unable to survive the rise of a new phenomenon. This so-called new trend is causing further diminishment in the value, usage, and effectiveness of the old-school methods. Post-2010 saw the rise of a new titan in the sphere of relationships –  namely, Dating Apps. From Tinder to Bumble to Grinder to Bado, hundreds of Dating apps are there catering to different interests, demographics, and relationship goals. From cold Alaska to Ouagadougou in the hot Burkina Faso to tropical Colombo to the tiny Pacific island of Vanuatu, every human settlement is using dating apps to connect with one another. While marriages in many population centers are rapidly decreasing, the number of users of dating apps is increasing a fewfold every single year. That is a self-explanatory situation and seems to have an inverse correlation.

While the user experience is on an individual basis, depending on intent, context, and culture, one has to give credit for its role in revolutionizing the world as we know it. It begs the question of why a person would opt to go online instead of a more authentic and meaningful in-person moment. Irrespective of cultural constructs and societal norms, even in the most conservative countries where traditional relationships are the order of the day, dating apps have taken the lead. But why?  Among the many possible reasons, there seems to be an undeclared political landscape that governs the relationships in the virtual spaces. Not necessarily the much-contested politics of gender but an intense competition for supremacy among individuals beyond gender. Something we could identify as “Politics of Relationships”.  What is the nature of the virtual space that resembles the powerplays in the physical world, though? 

In this space, the social security number, passport details, and marriage certificates are not prerequisites to prove who a person really is, allowing an individual to become anyone at all. Everyone projects who they want to be, and they make up stories to suit their interest to match their profile and to make headway to the relationship objective. You could be Shakespeare, Angelina Joli, Andrea Bocelli, Rajini Kanth, or simply your childhood hero. Who is behind the face could always be far from reality. There is no doubt that there are tens of those who go by their real details and are their real self. However, the need to present a higher version of oneself as an achiever, go-getter, successful human, and someone worthy of another’s time and attention is fundamental to this.

Potraying who you think you are as a way to get who you fancy or what you fancy needs more than a fake profile or cropped-up pictures. In this battle for supremacy, one needs to iron out doubts, consolidate power, and allow one’s influence to grow in the other’s universe. A regular sales pitch, upselling, over promising, sugar coating, sweetening are all common tactics used time and again by most of the relationship seekers. Irrespective of one’s intention of either scamming someone, tying a knot at some point in life, or simply going to bed, this powerplay is in full swing.

What are the principles relating to a sphere of activity concerning power and status in a relationship between a woman and a man or otherwise? What goes inside the mind of a man or a woman, what do they plan to achieve, and how do they assess their counterparts? If mind games are high-end play, there are a lot of factors one needs to take into consideration carefully. An easy yet erroneous way to sum up this would be to call it manipulation and throw it down the gauntlet. But this power politics, it is not the gender, the wealth, and the social status that decides the winner. Surely, they play a distinct role of their own merit but are not necessarily the deciding factors. Rather, the psychological endurance, tolerance, arsenal of words, and stories in hand are all that matters. The charm, rhythm, and not losing the focus and losing the way is fundamental. Winning at any cost or a tactical loss for a strategic win are observed within the dating app users.

Virtual space is undoubtedly a walk into Mordor. Surviving the unknown amidst uncertainties is a Herculean task. Simply because one will find every type of individual just like a real society lurking freely. There are the creepy, the nice, the dangerous, the adventurous, the lying, the cheating, the desperate, the needy, the clingy, the pretentious, the romantic, the lost, you name it. Wandering in this mysterious universe where many fates crisscross while all of them lead to the very same destination is a thing that only virtual beings would understand. Behind every virtual mask, there is a story stemming from real life. Those stories vary from sad to childhood traumas, and some have no idea why they even exist. Seeking validation and recognition to win control over a mutual space ungoverned by normal rule brings the individuals to pursue the basic rules of politics. An undeclared call to action driven by the need for supremacy, control, and power. In this space, the traditionally established patriarchal laws do not work. No one cares whether one is a conservative, traditionalist, or an open-minded libertarian. It is one’s choice, and one can find birds of a feather flocking together even in this domain. It has its own set of rules and norms, which are individually based. Although an ungoverned space, it is intended to end up in a safe space and walk like gentlemen and women even if a common ground is unable to be established. 

If one looks at relationships in a general perception, the popular narrative is that women are in demand. That is either a common misconception or a half-truth. The level of needs of each of the genders differs. At the onset, men want physical pleasure, and there is high competition for that among men. Within that playfield, women are in very high demand. But if one cares to look into the space expansively, a different truth emerges. Comparatively, a higher number of women are out there looking for stable relationships that could end up in some kind of commitment. The contenders for that segment will be fewer men, whereas so many women could be competing with each other. So this tendency tilts the balance where men are in demand within that playfield. Will end this with a quote from the American author Ambrose Bierce.

“ Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage “

The new meaning for relationships has essentially come down to ‘ interests masquerading as a contest of principles”. The time of Romeo courting Juliet is history from another era. 

DHANUKA DICKWELLA

About the Writer

With a master’s in International relations, Dhanuka’s expertise is in Geopolitics and Geoeconomics, among other things. In addition to being the Executive Editor of The Asian Reviews magazine, he works as a guest writer in the Chicago-based Armenian Mirror-Spectator on Caucuses-related geopolitical issues and contributes as a columnist and a guest speaker to the Indian-based Force Security magazine.

He was a grassroots Politician, a political campaign Director, and a council member of a local government body in a small town in rural Sri Lanka. Before entering active politics, he led his foundation in supporting youth and the underprivileged. Currently, he consults youth groups on political activism and general political trends.

He is a poet, blogger, and an enthusiastic climate and social activist who strongly believes in making a better world for future generations. A patriotic Sri Lankan who is a father of a loving daughter.